How to get closer with your partner
BY AVIVA REIMER
Well, here we are in a whole new dimension of relationships and dating. There is a frenzy in the dating world and it’s turning into more negative experiences versus positive for many daters. According to our company’s personal research, the divorce rate is on the rise. During our qualification process, we speak to at least 15 people a day looking to register into our database.
That’s when we learn about many past relationship experiences that are currently creating a lack of faith in people and marriage. Many people claim that there is an average of two to three couples they know who are going through a divorce or coping with a relationship breakdown. However, in spite of these findings, we have conversed with many people who still believe in love and passion and who are ready to share their life with someone special.
It is important to remember that love is more than a feeling, but a decision to commit oneself to another. Commitment involves staying with that special someone in happy—and difficult—times. In my experience, it is not uncommon for a man to share how his relationship lacks excitement. Similarly, a woman will express how her partner isn’t appreciative or attentive. Relationships are work and require nurturing and attention. We must do all that is possible and necessary to nurture our relationships—even when it seems that our partner does not make any effort.
Men and women exerting the proper attention in their relationships have become increasingly difficult. Technology has negatively impacted people’s interpersonal skills because of phones and computers, which, consequently, has impacted their relationships. I can write a book on the differences between men versus women; however, I want to share some great insight on how you can better understand your man.
Confidence is a healthy starting place in any relationship. The strongest relationship comes from loving yourself first and everyone else second. Respecting yourself first will also earn the respect of your partner.
Loving yourself does not mean being a selfish person. On the contrary, loving yourself means to be self-assured and confident in who you are and what you want out of your life. Additionally, loving yourself means staying true to your beliefs and not settling for less. Women are strong creatures who need to feel safe and secure with their men on many levels. In order to solidify our needs, we must understand and accept the needs of our men as well. After speaking with hundreds of men, I can tell you that their needs are simple.
1
INTIMACY
Lack of intimacy can be a factor that makes or breaks your relationship. Men are highly visual, and they enjoy seeing you looking feminine and very attractive. Flirt and have some fun with your partner. Send him a flirty text while he is at work. Wear that sexy dress with heals, and plan a romantic dinner for two at home with all his favourites. Ensure that you plan plenty of date nights with intimate surprises. Men also need to know how to seduce you romantically. As you already know, surprises, attentiveness, and flowers are a great start. Don’t be afraid to ask him to cook you dinner sometimes. The effort will go a long way. If you are a stay-at-home mom or a business woman, always keep your intimate relationship with your partner a priority. It will bring you a lifetime of fun memories that will keep your connection strong and healthy.
2
SUPPORT
Support your man in his career goals and hobbies. Tell your man that you are proud of his contributions to the relationship. Your man needs to know that you are in his corner and that he can lean on you emotionally. Also, ladies need to hear that they are beautiful , special, and appreciated. Gentleman need to also show this appreciation with action such as offer to help with things needed, plenty of attentiveness, and making time for her.
3
NURTURING AND AFFECTION
We all need and want love in our lives. Feed your man; rub his temples and feet once in a while. Ask him to return the favour. A man needs a safe environment to feel vulnerable, so help create this safe place. Ladies love the foot rubs and bubble baths as well. The rewards are endless.
4
FRIENDS AND FAMILY
Often, once in a relationship, the focus can shift where partners let their relationships with friends slip and family slip away. This isn’t healthy. Spend time with your friends and family. Prioritize your partner, but remember to maintain the other relationships in your life as well. It creates trust, balance and more things to talk about when spending time together.
It takes two to tango, so let us do our part in our relationships, and keep our men at home with our families. These four items will strengthen your relationships and your shared commitment.
Aviva Reimer is a relationship expert, a certified matchmaker and cofounder of Perfect Fit Millionaire Introductions (www.perfect-fit.ca). With an extensive background in coaching, fitness, image consulting and event planning, Reimer has been featured in several publications such as the Huffington Post, Addicted and Best of Toronto. Certified by the Matchmaking Institute of New York, Aviva has recently appeared on the hit show Millionaire Matchmaker.
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